Perfectionism and How to "Work with It" During Lessons

A Big Release and Relief.

Since I've been teaching for over 14 years, I've joked that my Studio Logo must say "I take perfectionists". Just being jaded. Yet reality, this is true for everyone. Many years ago, I was talking to a former student's parent and the parent stated, "We're all a bit of a perfectionist", which is true. Yet here are some brief concepts to consider when relating to students in lessons. The older I get, the more I just try my best. That's all I need to do, is give my best and be good with it. I tell my students that my YouTubes are not perfect and I'm ok with it. Yet I gave my absolute self to the work.

Show them that mistakes are ok. This is the biggest idea to demonstrate. When I play, sing or act, I'm going to make errors. Tell stories or show your students how musicians, actors make silly errors, playing or singing a wrong note, forgetting a cue, getting lost in the script or music, not sure how to play, sing or act a passage. These mistakes will help us grow, learn, and change.

Laughter is the Best Medicine. Show how even professionals forget their lines, and the response is laughter from everyone. Laughter lightens the room better. Laugh about the imperfections, knowing that we will get better in the future. I had a friend over 30 years ago tell me that "I didn't make a mistake, I made a new creation". Funny, yet valid point. Laugh and move on.

Give students confidence when working on a specific section. We don't have to be perfect at the whole song or character, yet focusing on short parts of the music and script that need attention will make an immense difference. We don't have to do everything accurately the first time, just break it apart. Current and previous students will say I can't get it, yet they don't want to focus on the small sections. I'm about explaining a holistic view, yet I'm all about working on the sections that need assistance.

Breath. As simple as it sounds, just breath and try playing, singing and acting without stressing so much. When we breath it releases the stress and anxiety.

“Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?" Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?”

― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”

― William Faulkner

I hope that these tips and quotes help you understand that perfectionism, comparison, imposter syndrome are unhealthy. Be ok with mistakes and move on. We all struggle with perfectionism, yet may we not allow it to control us. Just give your best. What are your thoughts and experiences? Would like to know. Thanks for your support. Blessings.